Monday, 27 February 2017

Powderpuff girls

I have a strong conspiracy theory. The more beautiful and charismatic you project yourself, the more tolerant are people towards your bullshit. I observe patterns around this. You can afford to take a dump on the hall, spit in people's faces, break your boyfriend's XBOX one and still be forgiven if you go around thinking you are(and look like) Cleopatra.

So what about the (self-proclaimed) less endowed species like me and probably the one reading this article? Drop a spoon on the floor and get a sound thwack on the back! Sneeze and get your feet stomped! Scratch your nose, and get accused of nose-picking. Oh what else! Theres more.
if you and Cleo stand in an elevator and someone toots, you'll be the one who gets the stare. Obviously! Shiny people don't fart!

Strange it is. "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" they say. I don't know. I am the girl with unkempt hair , thick grimy glasses which has more fingerprints than a biometric scanner, zits and not-so-kind teeth. Oh don't wrinkle your nose, I don't smell. Hygiene is a different story altogether, and I am a few metres away from being a germaphobe. But what's the big deal? I don't spend time on (trying to) look good. I feel it is enough to look tidy and confident, than hiding under layers of thick make up. I admit it is not a heresy to wear make-up. Let us do the talk here. I sometimes try to conceal my zits with a thing called Blemish balm(cheap sticky stuff), and realized it made my zit looked like a big frosted flake stuck on my face. I ditched it.

I cannot tell you how annoying it would be when a random lady on the road walks to you and gives free dermatological advice. (yes I have been there).

Ponne(Tamil Slang for girl) , why don't you try sandalwood on your skin?

I drop the F bomb at her in my head a hundred times, take a deep breath and say "Thanks aunty." and walk away without looking back.

I realized I need not be ashamed of my flaws for pleasing other people's eyes. If they want to look at beautiful spotless skin, they can go to Zorb. If people feel you are an eyesore, don't let that get to you. Ask yourself "Will this person's opinion matter? is this person really important to you?" if the answer is yes to both, then you are with Satan. Run!!!

Looking good, and appearing shiny does have its superficial perks(?) in a lot other areas. You will be wooed at, in malls, and visually scanned by a few. And the ones that don't care will be called jealous that they don't have you or they aren't like you. Do we really need all these?

Not everyone are narcissists.

To all the normal (human) girls next door: Don't worry. the looks aren't the secret sauce. there is much more(and better things) to focus in life than thinking why aren't you getting all the eyes. A caring personality subsumes a cold powderpuff girl. You will be loved to the soul, which is much MUCH deeper than your skin, your acne and blemishes.  Wait for that one, and don't sell your skin or soul to the cute guy who wants Cleopatra. Let him fish for his shiny rainbow unicorn.

You look are beautiful.

Disclaimer: (Well,my dear Cleo, I am not really sure about the XBOX thing so don't blame me if you got a black eye).

Thursday, 2 February 2017

I am curious

I am curious to hear from all the people out there.

How can someone be successful even after doing something extremely controversial? I am not talking just about wealth (even people with names like Mickey Clump get to inherit a lot of money and be successful). Is it luck? Do we subsume people like Kirby and glow with all their success? Can one rise to fame by doing small trivial things and shout from the rooftops? (braving the risk of someone throwing a brick at you, toppling down and cracking your crown). Magic potions? Secret manuscripts?

Then there are self help books.
Let me tell you- I never understand self help books.
"How to be happy and live like a king", "How to eliminate all thoughts from your mind, and be a vegetable" so on and so forth.
I believe in people who lead by example. 
Hey if you know the secrets to be a millionaire, then why aren't you one?
Would you ever go to a dentist whose teeth look like a camel who ate quesadillas? 



Or maybe you learn.
The word learn sounds overrated these days.
Yesterday I stumbled upon a word called "Hydrostatic Equilibrium" on Google to answer the question "Why are planets round?"

It said-

"The planets achieve hydrostatic equilibrium (balance between gravity and lithostatic pressure for terrestrial planets; balance between gas/fluid pressure for the gas giants).
Hydrostatic equilibrium tends to form spherical shapes since gravity is isotropic (pulls in material equally from all directions; there is no preferred direction for gravity)


Eliminating the gobbledygook Let us say-"An object is round if it has hydrostatic equilibrium"
Google also told me that the shape of our Earth is an oblate spheroid.

hover?


 Never heard that name in high school. Everything that was round was called "Circle!". Yes, even chubby people are illustrated with irregular circles by toddlers. 
That being said, Now whenever someone brings this word up, you can show off like you knew it since birth. 
Yaay!

I love to learn. Anything.  Everything. Even Random things. 

Talk to me about anything new or unheard of, and I am all ears. 
Teach me how to build a tree-house with bobby pins. Talk to about the mathematical equation to find the probability of a gorilla getting shot in Cincinnati zoo because a kid fell into the enclosure. Oh you got me. (RIP Harambe)
 
I love to learn but that cannot make me a prophet.


"Oh sweet child o mine. Learning cannot earn you anything. Prophecy, promotions or even peanuts!
 You have to apply them all. Generously. Slather them on something which you do everyday and climb the beanstalk."

These are the words which you can often see on memes signed "Anonymous". (No, I don't make memes)

You keep learning, applying them, learning more and looping on.
After you've learned enough, lost all of your mane (and most of your mind), you come to face the world only to find someone blowing a trumpet, telling you to walk off the planet. You come off as a creep!

So why risk it all in the first place?
Can we be safe and sane by just being idle, warming the couch and watching soap operas titled "Tall boys and beautiful girls rule the planet- Season 1273473277873246"? 
I don't know about sanity. I don't care but you definitely can be safe.
Because safety is very VERY important. 
Wait, who's the guy watching over my shoulder?!